Planned Parenthood’s new campaign full of popular, old lies

Pro-lifers are making legal headway and the keepers of culture are getting antsy. “How to cut them off at the knees?” wonder the abortion providers, wringing their hands and working on promoting the culture of death.

And, on cue, Planned Parenthood has come up with an aggressive campaign aimed at protecting their precious reproductive rights (and bank accounts).

You can imagine how the first emails spread like wildfire from Beverly Hills, to New York, London, Cannes, Bali and beyond, through agents and handlers. The subject line read, “Bans Off My Body!” So. Catchy. Miley Cyrus announces she is in, while hanging with her new girlfriend—who is sporting the sweatshirt Cyrus conceived with Marc Jacobs that reads “Don’t F— with My Freedom.” So. Edgy.

The abortion giant’s clever marketing gets better (so to speak). They will run a full-page ad in Billboard Magazine with the slogan: “Band Together, Bans Off.” Get it? They are bands, trying to prevent bans against their bodies. Deep stuff that. It’s so catchy that perhaps they will make it into a pop song for Ariana Grande?

The ad, not surprisingly, will be signed by LIZZO, Ariana Grande, Lady Gaga, Beck, Billie Eilish, Bon Iver, John Legend, Nicki Minaj, Demi Lovato, G-Eazy, HAIM, Sara Bareilles, Troye Sivan, Macklemore, Hayley Kiyoko, Megan Thee Stallion, Miley Cyrus, Kacey Musgraves, Carole King, Dua Lipa, Meghan Trainor, and more.

As these sage drivers and keepers of popular culture like to remind us, pro-lifers are really out of touch. So, I’m happy to translate their revolutionary rhetoric for those of you who might not yet get it. Keep in mind, however, that they have been using these same, tired arguments since the late 1960s. Formulated by feminism’s grandmothers, the rhetorical (and now recycled) recipe was distilled by the sisterhood and still holds plenty of cultural cache. Today’s matriarchy continues to carry the torch, making sure everyone can repeat these ideas, just as they repeat their favorite lyrics.

Pro-lifers have heard these arguments before, but most of us are probably just too dull understand their dazzling nuance. They do require, after all, the suspension of reason and logic, the denial of science, and the closing of your eyes to the extreme woundedness that abortion has brought to this country.

The first thing to notice in their poppy new campaign is the tricky alliteration—they like words that start with the same letter: planned parenthood; war against women; bands together, bans off. It sticks in the mind, like a clever jingle or pop song.

The rhetorical trills echo further in Planned Parenthood’s explanation of the banding of bands against bans offensive:

The #BansOffMyBody campaign seeks to center the people who are impacted by these draconian restrictions on reproductive health and freedom, and encourages people to join together — and with Planned Parenthood — to take action and fight back.

Alexis McGill Johnson, acting president and CEO of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, provides this urgent reminder:

Abortion access and reproductive health and rights are under attack like never before, and we need everyone to fight back. These bans do not represent the will of the American people, which is why so many powerful, diverse voices are speaking out against them.

The diversity of thought is impressive, kowtowing as usual to the lock-step of the matriarchy,  who will only shine their loving gaze upon the pro-choice artists. “Blessed are the pro-choice” is the daily benediction.

McGill Johnson continues:

Planned Parenthood is grateful to these artists for using their incredible platforms to declare that our bodies are our own — if they are not, we can never be truly free or equal. With their help, Planned Parenthood and our supporters will keep fighting to ensure that our patients — and people across the country — can still access reproductive and sexual health care, no matter what.

These artists are using their bodies to ensure that new bodies don’t see the light of day, because freedom and equality, um, provide access, er, or something. This is the rhetoric used for the past five decades to tell us why we had to have abortion on demand and without any restrictions, so that we can be free—and our children can be dead. Nothing says freedom like living with regret, anger, depression, and wounds that time won’t heal.

Their other favorite argument, still invoked today, is that many women are hurt when abortion isn’t available. As we read in the Planned Parenthood statement: “Abortion restrictions hit hardest among people of color and those who are struggling to make ends meet — people who already face barriers to accessing good health care.” You can imagine a commercial now showing some very sad faces.

It continues (cue more sad visuals, slower music, somber voice gravely reading):

Already, 1 in 3 women of reproductive age lives in a state where abortion could be outlawed if Roe is overturned. That’s over 25 million people. (Insert long pause.) This includes more than 4.3 million Hispanic or Latino women, nearly 3.5 million Black or African American women, more than 800,000 Asian women, and nearly 300,000 American Indian or Alaska Native women of reproductive age.

The stale argument here is that children ruin our lives, destroy our wealth, and are women’s natural enemy. Alyssa Milano made this same argument when she recently revealed her own abortions, saying that without them “I would not have my career. I would not have the ability or platform I use to fight against oppression with all my heart” and “my life would be completely lacking all its great joys.”

These basic points have been used, recycled, repackaged, rebranded, and reinvented so many times that far too many people have come to believe they are true. But behind the make-up, cameras, soundboards, and celebrity status, there are no facts or truths propping up the abortion propaganda points other than the sad fact that we as a nation are relentlessly trained to sing them like an auto-tuned jingle.