My brother Mike died in early July. He was 71, the oldest in our big Catholic family, about whom I’ve written before, especially in light of the inspiring witness of my Mom and Dad, and also my little sister Mary, who had Down Syndrome. Mike walked away from full participation in the Catholic Church for several decades, yet never lost touch with his patron saint, Michael the Archangel.
This is the story of mine and Mike’s journey together: how we loved each other while often disagreeing, and how I’m grateful for the intercession of St. Michael—and also St. Joseph, Terror of Demons (Mike’s middle-name patron)—for their love of my brother and our family.
While Mike was the eldest of the boys in our family, I was the youngest, more than eleven years his junior. He graduated from high school (1969) when I had barely begun my education, and then he was drafted to fight in the Vietnam War. Thankfully, the draft board unexpectedly diagnosed Mike with swimmer’s ear at his would-be induction at Fort Wayne in Detroit; otherwise, we might not have walked these many years together.
People often remarked how different Mike and I were, and yet, among other things, we both favored our maternal grandfather in physical appearance, both would make principled defenses in a spirited manner, and both had a heart for helping those in need.
In September 1979, Mike married his beloved Judy, who preceded him in death in February 2017, the victim of a tragic car crash. They raised three wonderful boys, all of whom are now well into adulthood. In addition, while Mike thankfully married in the Catholic Church, he had not been fully practicing his faith for awhile.
I say “fully practicing,” because while Mike would deny he was Catholic, he never lost his connection with his patron saint. By his own volition, Mike long kept an image of St. Michael in his home, held up by a magnet on his office filing cabinet. In time, he would add images of St. Joseph with the Child Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary, prayer cards gained when our Aunt Irene and Uncle Frank died in 2003 and 2015, respectively. Those images now reside on my own home-office cabinet, a reminder to pray for Mike’s and others’ souls (see 2 Macc. 12:43–45; 1 Cor. 3:10–15).
As a youth, Mike both sang in the choir and served at the altar; he later told me he didn’t like the big changes made to the Mass after Vatican II. Mike also periodically told me how his first Confession was not a good one, because the priest admonished him for not having anything to confess.
“What do you mean you haven’t done any wrong!” the priest scolded the lad. While sympathizing with Mike, I also tried to be lighthearted. “C’mon, Mike,” I would say, recalling my own sacramental formation. “When you go into Confession, you know you’re supposed to have at least something to confess.”
Still, the sins of others and Mike’s own never severed his bond with his patron saint.
“When God wanted to get the job done,” Mike would proudly say of his patron, “he got Michael.” Of course, that job was defeating Satan and his rebellious cohorts, expelling them from heaven when they sought to overcome the Almighty (Rev. 12:7–12).
St. Michael’s victory is embedded in the Hebrew meaning of his name. Indeed, “Who is like God?” is the battle cry of the Archangel and his heavenly allies. Mike’s favorite image depicted it well: St. Michael, sword drawn, standing on the head of the defeated devil.
Here we’re reminded that the saints are God’s collaborators, not competitors, and so I leaned on St. Michael, Our Lady, and St. Joseph in asking for their intercession for Mike and our family. “God has bound salvation to the sacrament of Baptism [and the other sacraments],” the Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches, “but he himself is not bound by his sacraments” (CCC 1257, emphasis original).
That includes the baptized who no longer regularly receive the Eucharist and Confession. In that light, we see that the angels and saints are God’s ambassadors, watching over us with the Lord, even when—and, indeed, especially when—we’ve strayed (Matt. 18:10–14; see Heb. 12:1–2; Rev. 5:8).
If “the prayer of a righteous man [on earth] has great power in its effects” (Jas. 5:16), how much more the intercession of an angel or saint in heaven? And so I would ask Mike for his prayers, promise him mine, and call, text, and/or email my brother on his feast days, including St. Michael and his archangelic confreres on September 29, and St. Joseph on March 19 and May 1. “Man, Mike!” I would exclaim. “You have two of the best patrons in battling the devil: St. Michael the Archangel and St. Joseph, Terror of Demons.”
Mike’s good included employing the Heimlich maneuver to save the lives of his son Graham and nephew Blaise on separate occasions when they were kids, a skill he learned well in becoming a certified registered nurse anesthetist. Both are now grown and married with their own families.
Mike didn’t raise his boys in the Catholic faith, yet he never lost belief in God and his beloved St. Michael. To be sure, he could be irreverent, sometimes referring to his sons as “Broken Rubber #1,” “Broken Rubber #2,” and “Broken Rubber #3,” a Boomer term for a condom.
For my part, I would respond with a smile and say, “Well, I guess that just proves that God does work in mysterious ways!” You also have to cultivate the virtue of humility, an indispensable element for enduring Christian love.
“He still treats you like you’re his little brother,” Mike’s oldest son Graham once upbraided me when he was in college. “Yes,” I responded. “I try not to take myself too seriously, but rather the larger mission seriously, so that we can continue to have conversations on important matters.”
Mike’s favorite band was The Rolling Stones, and, being a bit of a contrarian, “Sympathy for the Devil” one of his favorites songs. Make no mistake, though: St. Michael, not Lucifer, was esteemed in my brother’s home. In this regard, even the brash Mick Jagger could be moved to prayer, such as at the Stones’ 1969 concert at Altamont Raceway in northern California, when the combination of an unruly crowd and the policing Hells Angels moved him to modify the lyrics of “Under My Thumb” with a plaintive plea: “I pray that it’s all right. I pray that it’s all right” (5:19ff.). Indeed, Jesus is our Savior, whiles Satan ultimately—and always—seeks our destruction (John 10:10).
In 2002, Mike had a heart attack, the result of an undiagnosed congenital heart condition that had badly atrophied two of his four chambers. A pacemaker enabled him to live another twenty years.
In late June 2022, Mike entered hospice care at home. I called and texted him, conveying my love and saying he could call me any time—day or night—if he needed something. I also had priests and lay friends offer Masses and other prayers.
The night before Mike died unexpectedly soon, he expressed that he wanted to spend time with his sons. I was at peace, because I knew it was time for me to decrease and St. Michael to increase (see John 3:28–30), and I prayed accordingly.
Early July 4, I awoke. I blinked to make sure I was reading my clock correctly: exactly 3 a.m., the commencement of the infernal hour, for the devil can only pay tribute to God in a perverse way. While I’m not St. Padre Pio or St. John Vianney, I was half-expecting fireworks in my bedroom—i.e., of the spiritual variety.
I knew I was being summoned to pray on Mike’s behalf, so I invoked St. Michael, the Blessed Mother, and St. Joseph—all in the most powerful name of Jesus (Phil. 2:9–11).
That afternoon, I learned that my brother had died. Based on the temperature of his body in the late morning, the hospice nurse estimated Mike had died between 2 and 4 a.m.
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September 29th was my late mother’s birthday, so I always think of her, too, on the feast of St. Michael. And my son’s middle name is Michael, so that is his patron saint.
Wonderful to hear, JoAnn. Prayers for the repose of your mother’s soul, and also prayers for your son. God bless you and your family!
What a lovely article on love and hope.
Thank you, Jeanine.
Amen on love and hope.
St. Michael, pray for us! Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us!
I’m so sorry for your loss. May your brother rest in peace & in God’s Mercy.
My youngest son was born on the Feast of St. Michael & of course we had to add Michael to the other two names picked out for him.
Thanks for your kinds words and prayers, Mrs. Cracker.
And God bless you for giving your son such a powerful patron saint!
thankyou🙏
You’re very welcome, Mary, and thank you for taking the time to read my remembrance and comment. St. Michael, pray for us!
Thank you for writing so honestly and so lovingly about your brother. Most of us can identify with this — having a beloved family member who does not share our love for our Faith. But, the core of this Faith is the knowledge of His unbelievable and unfathomable Divine Mercy. Which is, I guess, another reason for our need to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet at 3PM every day — and any other time of the day or night. We will never know, this side of heaven, who or how many souls were brought to heaven by this invaluable, soul-saving prayer.
Amen, Mary!
Yes, I thought others might be able to identify with my experience, including our own need for God‘s mercy and our desire and mission to be there for our loved ones. I’m glad it resonated with you and many others, praise God.
Saint Michael the Archangel, pray for us, and our Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on us!
Wonderful article.
Thanks very much, Dan, and God bless you
and your family.
Well done Tom. May the Good Lord welcome Michael into His Kingdom & Give him Eternal Rest. On Jesus Name. Amen.
Thanks much and amen, Raymond!
Yes, Jesus makes it all possible, praised be him!
I love the smiles in the photo, Tom, so genuine and so filled with life. It’s good to have a brother to hug. You have been blessed – and you have blessed us with your story.
Thank you, Tom.
Yes, I have been blessed, praise God,
and I am grateful to share that blessing with others.
Mr. Nash’s brotherly tribute rends the heart; the wound, recent, is raw and fresh. Awakening at the probable time of death seems like an angelic blessing of warning. Is such an experience uncommon?
My father also died fairly unexpectedly from a heart condition. A dream prepared me. In the dream, I stood in the basement of my childhood home, a house which my father had built (in reality). A few inches of water stood on the floor, while I faced a malfunctioning electrical fuse box. It became clear that the responsibility for fixing the electrical/standing water problem was mine. Because my father had performed all such repairs with easy competence, I was confused, perplexed, and frightened that the dream-task was falling to me. I awoke from the dream, fearful, at 4 AM, and never returned to sleep. At 6 AM, a phone call came into my college dormitory. My father had passed away a few hours earlier; my mother wanted me home to handle arrangements.
My father was raised as a Protestant and lived 25 years in marriage to my devout Catholic mother who prayed for his conversion to little avail, or so it seemed. Two years prior to his death, after he began to feel somewhat unwell, my father finally converted. Illness and yes, even a deathbed, can suffice to convert a soul. Praise God and His holy angels.
Meiron,
Thank you for your affirming words, and also for your poignant anecdote regarding your father. Amen indeed on praising God and his holy angels!
Thank you for these encouraging words! I have 2 sisters, 4 nieces, numerous children and grandchildren who no longer practice their Catholic Faith! Stirs up all kinds of emotions in me and I just keep praying for them. Also can’t help wondering why or what turned them away! And some will still go to Communion which drove me crazy for years. Then the thought came to me that this is like”chemotherapy” for their souls!
You’re welcome, Madeline, and thank for your affirming words and also your heartfelt sharing regarding your loved ones. Yes, what can we do except continue to love them in various ways, and never lose contact, so that we can continue to witness to them, always realizing that God loves them more than we do.
Regarding the Holy Eucharist, I do wish that Bishops and priests would be more mindful of announcing before Communion that if someone is not in a state of grace, including hasn’t been participating in weekly Sunday Mass or hasn’t been to Confession for years, then to charitably direct them not to receive the Eucharist, but to encourage them to come up for a blessing and also to encourage them to go to Confession as soon as possible, and that Jesus is waiting there to extend his merciful love through the ministry of the priest.
Regarding those who still go up to receive the Eucharist, whether unwittingly or defiantly, let us pray that God mercifully leads them to Repentance, one way or another, including if that is through a severe mercy.
“Regarding the Holy Eucharist, I do wish that Bishops and priests would be more mindful of announcing before Communion that if someone is not in a state of grace, including hasn’t been participating in weekly Sunday Mass or hasn’t been to Confession for years, then to charitably direct them not to receive communion.”
Surely the church is about inclusion,and not exclusion.What did Jesus do? He saw sinners faults s,and offered them the Eucharist to redeem them.Despite their failings. To pontificate would do more harm than good..Just a humble opinion,my brother in Christ.
Thank you for sharing your story Tom.God bless you and your brother Mike.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Christian, and also for your prayers for me and my brother Mike.
Regarding the Eucharist, as St. Paul says, and he is a Spirit-led ambassador of our Lord Jesus Christ, we should not partake of the Eucharist in an unworthy manner, lest we eat and drink a judgment upon ourselves (1 Cor. 11:27-30).
So while Jesus instituted the Eucharist at the Last Supper, St. Paul makes clear the norms by which we are to receive it. The Church has always been inclusive, and the obligation to participate in Sunday Mass does not carry with it the need to necessarily receive Holy Communion.
So I think it’s a good Catholic both/and, in which we welcome everyone and encourage people to partake of Christ’s merciful love in the normative way he established, that is, through the Sacrament of Confession. And then to receive the Eucharist in a way that a person can benefit from its great blessings (John 6:51-58).
God bless you and may all your loved ones Rest in Peace.
Once I was at a prayer group and a girl told us, quite naturally, that Saint Michael had made a man who was about to attack her unable to move.
I really, sorry to say, had never thought to invoke him. And it turn out to be completely true.
I, myself have been in danger and he has make me invisible to people who wanted to hurt me.
Glory to you, Beloved Saint Michael.
Thank you for your fidelity.
NEVER lose hope when praying for the conversion of somebody.
(I humbly recommend the 54 Day Novena to Our Lady of Pompeii, for such purpose).
Ephesians 6:6-8
God bless you all.
Sofía
Hi, we all live in families in which, maybe, one or two pray for the entire family.
Worth looking for Sr Emmanuel Maillard’s a conference (available on yotube) “Don’t let your family be destroyed”. There, she remembers Saint Pio of Pietrelcina ‘s dream about Armata Bianca and, basically, achievably things we can do to save our world, as requested by Our Most Holy Mother.
You can download pdf for free on Sr Emmanuel official site .
Thank you.
God and Our Blessed Mother bless you all