This is “NFP Week” (July 21st-27th), which means there will inevitably be a lot of online discourse and discussion about Natural Family Planning (NFP), contraception, and how humans, in a limited capacity, interact with the miracle that is life.
I think that a lot of this discourse will be unhelpful. In some ways, it will be worse than unhelpful. Much discourse on this subject ranges from using the deceptive tactics of modern marketing to traumatizing Catholics who are often doing nothing contrary to the Magisterium and the consensus of proper morals in the Church.
While defending the practice, I also believe the only way forward is to move away from the idea of NFP altogether.
What is Natural Family Planning? Here we should differentiate between the concept and how that concept is practiced. I am not interested in analyzing the different methods of how NFP is practiced. In the interest of full disclosure: as a male, I have zero interest to write on how women practice the concept. At its core, NFP is simple enough: the use of periodic abstinence between spouses during times of fertility for reasons dubbed sufficient and serious. (Traditionally, the use of terms such as “grave” implied a lot of qualifications that the term does not imply in Catholic moral teaching.)
These matters can be medical (where pregnancy presents a serious health risk), financial (maybe it’s a good idea to practice periodic abstinence during a time of lengthy unemployment that is nonetheless not expected to be medium/long term), or even in the best interests of your family (a discussion parents with special needs children will have constantly). There is no definitive list of when periodic abstinence can and cannot be considered, because that is not how Catholicism works. We are given moral principles and guidelines, and are expected to apply them, as best as possible, within our own spheres, which the Church does her best to respect (the Church only intrudes upon the authority of a married couple to set boundaries on how to live their marriage, not step-by-step manuals).
When did Natural Family Planning come about? In some highly biased narrative accounts, it is presented as the Catholic Church reacting to the ban on contraception reiterated in St. Paul VI’s Humanae Vitae in 1968. In more honest accountings, you will hear of the creation of the “rhythm method”, created in the 1930s by a Dutch Catholic doctor. Others trace it to the beginning of the century.
In truth, the moment that modern science began to have a deeper understanding of the fertility cycle of a woman, the Church was grappling with how this deeper understanding could be understood and even used. This is a point I want to make very clear to some critics of NFP, many of the traditionalist persuasion. NFP can be defended almost entirely from authoritative sources before the Second Vatican Council. As these scientific theories began to be developed in the 1850s, the Bishop of Amiens wrote to the Vatican requesting guidance on the following question:
Certain married couples, relying on the opinion of learned physicians, are convinced that there are several days each month in which conception cannot occur. Are those who do not use the marriage right except on such days to be disturbed, especially if they have legitimate reasons for abstaining from the conjugal act?
Rome (via the Sacred Penitentiary) responded as follows:
Those spoken of in the request are not to be disturbed, providing that they do nothing to impede conception.
In 1880, the same office counseled confessors to offer this knowledge and reassurance to couples who were contracepting, to help them cease sinning. Periodic abstinence is not something that is inherently virtuous, but it is also a way to avoid committing a sin. Pius XI gave explicit acknowledgement of the issue when he said, in 1930, in Casti Conubii:
Nor are those considered as acting against nature who in the married state use their right in the proper manner although on account of natural reasons either of time or of certain defects, new life cannot be brought forth. (#59)
In his address to midwives in the 1950s, Pius XII gave this view even stronger support, and included it in the list of official acts of the Apostolic See, to ensure that it was accepted as authoritative. While we could continue to trace affirmations of this teaching after the Council, it really isn’t necessary to establish its firm roots in tradition. I could write a copious list of all the moral theologians before the Council who defended the concept, whose manuals were the bedrock of orthodox seminary training for a century. (These sources are even still the core of priestly formation for traditionalists institutes such as the FSSP and ICKSP.) But there is no need, as we already had the highest levels of authority in the Church condoning them.
If there is nothing wrong with the practice of NFP, why does it inspire pushback?
I think a lot of it comes down to the way NFP is presented, and the individuals promoting NFP. In many instances, the latter are not promoting NFP, but are promoting a product that helps people understand or utilize periodic abstinence. That promotion involves promises, often wildly inflated. “NFP will divorce proof your marriage!” “NFP will teach you how to communicate better!” My personal favorite “NFP leads to better sex!”
None of these are true, and even if some individuals might experience them, it is almost certainly not because of periodic abstinence.
Periodic abstinence is a tool. It is the cardio of romantic life. Cardio can be useful in losing weight, yet it isn’t mandatory. There are even situations when cardio, improperly practiced, will lead to you gaining weight. (Push yourself beyond your limits and you will eat more and sleep less.) Likewise, periodic abstinence can be used in a way that’s harmful to marriage. It can be used as a weapon of one spouse against another. Spouses can become so immersed in periodic abstinence and the fear of children they close themselves to life. Many NFP gurus take these very real fears and try to monetize them. While this makes their wallets bigger and their profiles larger, it may not always help married couples.
Another tool of the NFP lobby is to present it as something, if not mandatory, that Catholics are missing out on if they won’t consider it. NFP is presented as “responsible parenthood”. While we can always find the one individual that should probably not be having children, how many of those individuals are in stable marriages? Large families within marriages are not irresponsible. Smaller families, even among those on the lower end of the economic scale, are not necessarily irresponsible.
When the Church speaks of the permissibility of periodic abstinence, she is doing so in the context of “is this a sin, or is it not?” She is not saying “is this right or not?” The Church lacks the capacity to issue such a ruling, because she cannot conceive of every possibility in human existence. While you should not worry about sinning if you practice periodic abstinence, you shouldn’t make any assumption about those whose abstinence is more or less periodic than your own.
I believe a final problem with NFP discourse comes around the “P” involved, far less than the “N” or the “F”. Periodic abstinence is not a five-year plan for marriages. It is not a new corporate vision. It is not central planning in marriage. In such a mindset, we become far removed from pondering and regulating our participation and understanding in a divine mystery. Instead, we reduce the act of fertility to a fundamentally human activity. As with all things in this world, the plan is God’s, and we must figure out how we and our actions fit into his plan; how certain things are planned, willed, and tolerated. NFP promotion can cheapen this reality. Maybe our only way forward is to drop the moniker altogether, even while I admit not knowing what to replace it with.
I conclude with a small plea for respect of uncertainty. I have two children, and I am 41. I’m also a traditionalist with relatively unimpeachable credentials. Both of my children are special needs children. You will not know any of this when you see me with only one child at Mass. You might see a family of ten with both spouses under 40, who are active participants in NFP. You might find a sincere Catholic struggling with fertility issues who uses periodic abstinence not to prevent pregnancy, but to help achieve it. You will not see these things on the surface. You will likely not have someone openly talk about these issues when you have your debates online.
When we ponder what things we cannot know when we have these discussions, we may start to appreciate better why the Church factors that uncertainty into her guidance. We may not ever figure out the right way to present periodic abstinence or natural family planning. Yet, with this appreciation, we can make our discourse more truthful and edifying.
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You know, women don’t practice NFP by themselves . Couples do. So both men and women should be concerned about each other’s views and understanding about NFP.
Nobody said otherwise.
I just, as a male, have zero interest in writing about certain female biological functions.
Well, I can certainly understand that Mr. Tierney but it just seems an odd way of reflecting on NFP which is based upon both men & women’s biological functions.
But I do hear you. Sometimes less is more.
Yes, it takes a family.
It takes a couple & an NFP instructor Mr. Morgan.
One of my children taught NFP & did consulting for physicians. These days you’re just as likely to find couples using NFP to achieve conceptions as to space them. Infertility’s a growing problem, as reflected in the huge IVF industry.
My husband and I used NFP to delay our first child until he was given a duty station (he flew F-14s) and we could get situated in first ramshackle fixer-upper (with a 14% interest rate on the mortgage). Said child arrived on 2nd anniversary and we’ve been open to life since. We taught NFP in Church basements for years as a stepping stone for young couples determined to contracept, because its benefits (esp enhanced communication) are entirely real. But more importantly, it helps couples to avoid mortal sin so that they can better attend to the still, small whisper of God that says, “Trust Me.”
It’s a bold man who lectures others on such intimate choices, knowing little of post-partum depression, financial particulars, aging parents to care for, and other crushing burdens that even the Church makes allowances for. We have many other actual sins to battle; I think our Catholic culture can withstand a sliver of its young people spacing children through abstinence.
Win back ex-girlfriend/Boyfriend,…………….
I often wish my late husband and I had had more children (we had 2). We were Evangelical Protestants until we were 47 years old, so there was no problem with us using contraceptives. Although we used “The Pill” as newlyweds, within a few months, I developed a breast cyst (non-cancerous), and my OB-GYN told me to stop using “The Pill”. So we used a barrier method. We had our first child (by C-section) 4 years after we were married…and I was exhausted trying to take care of her–our pastor called her an “Energizer Bunny!”. Eventually she slept through the night, but those late nights were awful for me–I do NOT do well when I lose sleep–I actually get sick to my stomach. A few years later, I got pregnant again and this time, gained around 70 pounds during the pregnancy, which meant that the lack of sleep after our second child’s birth (another C-section) was even more difficult for me–I gained even more weight from eating too much to try to make up for being so tired. So my husband had the vasectomy, I lost around 100 pounds (and still need to lose around 40 to be at a medically-safe weight), and we were happy raising our two daughters. But as the years went by, I really wished we had a bigger family. I wish I had known more about pregnancy, abstinence, weight gain dangers (I just assumed I would lose it, not realizing that once the joints became arthritic from the excess weight, it’s more difficult to exercise, and once fast food becomes the norm, it’s hard to break the addiction). My husband passed away in 2020 from COVID, and I am grateful for my two daughters, my son-in-law, and my one super-duper grandson (my daughter developed an infection and had to undergo a hysterectomy after the birth). I think young Catholic women should begin learning about pregnancy and fertility when they are young teens, and they should be encouraged to live a healthy lifestyle, eat and exercise to maintain a healthy body, and learn all about NFP methods before they begin serious dating. I also think young MEN should learn all about NFP, too, and both young men and women should be taught to remain virgins until they are married. They should also be taught to prepare for marriage in such a way that they will be able to support a large family, which generally means that at least one spouse will have a job that provides a decent living wage, and the other spouse will be skilled at home-making on a dime!
Out of curiosity, for a 28 day cycle, how many days require abstinence, including menstrual days? I understand it is a majority of days. Not good.
Let’s see, three menstrual days, maybe 10 abstinence days? So about half?
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This is highly dependent on the woman involved though. The above is . . . someone with whom I’m well acquainted. Said person could have used Rhythm Method and saved herself a lot of time and trouble learning Sympto-Thermal method/CCL
.
Different people have different sex drives. We are not all alike. Some men don’t have much of one; some women are really “feelin’ it,” as it were. Younger folks are generally friskier.
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It is a well known side effect of hormonal contraception to kill a woman’s sex drive, leading to arguments over the man not getting as much as he thinks he needs/deserves.
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NFP does not lead to troubles. It highlights problems. Even show cases them, but I have a hard time seeing it as being a case.
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“a cause.”
There’s plenty of info available online Mr. Will. And everyone’s body is unique & made differently.
Author says: I think a lot of it comes down to the way NFP is presented, and the individuals promoting NFP. In many instances, the latter are not promoting NFP, but are promoting a product that helps people understand or utilize periodic abstinence. That promotion involves promises, often wildly inflated. “NFP will divorce proof your marriage!” “NFP will teach you how to communicate better!” My personal favorite “NFP leads to better sex!”
None of these are true, and even if some individuals might experience them, it is almost certainly not because of periodic abstinence.
Saint Paul VI says in Humanae Vitae: – for those who use periodic abstinence:
21. The right and lawful ordering of birth demands, first of all, that spouses fully recognize and value the true blessings of family life and that they acquire complete mastery over themselves and their emotions. For if with the aid of reason and of free will they are to control their natural drives, there can be no doubt at all of the need for self-denial. Only then will the expression of love, essential to married life, conform to right order. This is especially clear in the practice of periodic continence. Self-discipline of this kind is a shining witness to the chastity of husband and wife and, far from being a hindrance to their love of one another, transforms it by giving it a more truly human character. And if this self-discipline does demand that they persevere in their purpose and efforts, it has at the same time the salutary effect of enabling husband and wife to develop to their personalities and to be enriched with spiritual blessings. For it brings to family life abundant fruits of tranquility and peace. It helps in solving difficulties of other kinds. It fosters in husband and wife thoughtfulness and loving consideration for one another. It helps them to repel inordinate self-love, which is the opposite of charity. It arouses in them a consciousness of their responsibilities. And finally, it confers upon parents a deeper and more effective influence in the education of their children. As their children grow up, they develop a right sense of values and achieve a serene and harmonious use of their mental and physical powers.
Saint Pope John Paul II says Evangelium Vitae and ways of building a culture of life.
(EV #88) Many are the means towards this end which need to be developed with skill and serious commitment. At the first stage of life, centres for natural methods of regulating fertility should be promoted as a valuable help to responsible parenthood, in which all individuals, and in the first place the child, are recognized and respected in their own right, and where every decision is guided by the ideal of the sincere gift of self. Marriage and family counselling agencies by their specific work of guidance and prevention, carried out in accordance with an anthropology consistent with the Christian vision of the person, of the couple and of sexuality, also offer valuable help in rediscovering the meaning of love and life, and in supporting and accompanying every family in its mission as the “sanctuary of life”. Newborn life is also served by centres of assistance and homes or centres where new life receives a welcome. Thanks to the work of such centres, many unmarried mothers and couples in difficulty discover new hope and find assistance and support in overcoming hardship and the fear of accepting a newly conceived life or life which has just come into the world.
And:
Saint Pope JPII said in EV#96 that the education in the service of life involves the training of married couples in responsible procreation. The moral law obliges them in every case to control the impulse of instinct and passion and to respect which makes legitimate, at the service of responsible procreation, the use of natural methods of regulating fertility
Pope Saint JPII said in EV #96 that an honest appraisal of their effectiveness should dispel certain prejudices which are still widely held, and should convince married couples, as well as health care and social workers, of the importance of proper training in this area. He also said that the Church is grateful to those who, with personal sacrifice and often unacknowledged dedication, devote themselves to the study and spread of these methods, as well to the promotion of education in the moral values which they presuppose
Saint Pope JPII said in EV #98 that a special task falls to Catholic intellectuals, who are called to be present and active in the leading centers where culture is formed in schools and universities. Furthermore, a special contribution will also have to come from universities, particularly Catholic Universities, and from Centers and Institutes. In section #89 of EV he said that a unique responsibility belongs to health-care personnel, doctors, pharmacists, nurses, chaplains, …. And that, their profession calls for them to be guardians and servants of human life.
Some research articles for evidence – and I have a lot more:
Michael D. Manhart & Richard J. Fehring (2023): The Association of Family Planning Methods With the Odds of Divorce Among Women in the 2015–2019 National Survey of Family Growth, Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 64(7):1-13.DOI: 10.1080/10502556.2023.2179837
Fehring, R. and Manhart, M. (2021). Natural Family Planning and Marital Chastity: The Effects of Periodic Abstinence on Marital Relationships. The Linacre Quarterly. 88(1): 42-55,
Fehring, R., (2018). Contraception and Natural Family Planning: the Impact on the Sexual Lives of Couples? Anthropotes, 35(2018); 101-126
See my Web site:
Certain married couples, relying on the opinion of learned physicians, are convinced that there are several days each month in which conception cannot occur. Are those who do not use the marriage right except on such days to be disturbed, especially if they have legitimate reasons for abstaining from the conjugal act? (Tierney).
Kevin Tierney’s conscientious query is correctly answered by the Sacred Penitentiary not to be disturbed, which includes both husband and wife accepting that as God’s compassionate, comprehensive love for his children. Comprehensive that God, love itself created man and women to create life, and also to find pleasure and satisfaction in doing so. Tierney’s conscience questions whether a constricted, long term practice is the same as practicing contraception. It isn’t as long as interruption of the transmission is avoided. As to length, there are variable conditions that in the end only God can judge, though the good of such a decision to practice abstinence except when there is absence of fertility is conditioned by the spouses love for eachother, and the availability of material means [as to Tierney having had his two children born handicapped is not a reason to perennially avoid conception, although if due to a permanent physical condition of the spouse it poses a mitigating condition]. Virtually all acts that have a moral double entendre are good or evil in respect to conditions.
If we consider the reality that couples who marry and are incapable of conceiving life have no restrictions. The Sacred Penitentiary would not have made their statement if it were not that the conjugal act is a good insofar as the act of transmission is not in any manner impeded.
An explanation on “If we consider the reality that couples who marry and are incapable of conceiving life have no restrictions”. This is not to condone sexual acts that do not comply with Christian morality such as sodomy. Sodomy is serious sin inside of marriage as it is outside of marriage. Marriage doesn’t sanctify perversion.
Such an article is long overdue. NFP has come to be presented as the default setting for couples, when the default is actually not to use any form of birth control. The necessary grave/serious reasons for using nfp- which should have some objective basis- are usually so watered down that they can now include almost anything the couple subjectively judges to be so. NFP is also usually touted as simply the natural and potentially moral alternative to contraceptives, i.e., among the highlights of promotion is how effective it is- just as or more than a contraceptive- at avoiding conception. There is often still a failure to realize that nfp can be used sinfully, if it is used with a contraceptive mentality of trying to more absolutely exclude the possibility of procreation.
There are many reasons to use NFP, the only “sacred” way to use birth control. Then, there other reasons why certain couples cannot…
CNA: NFP is healthier and safer than prophylactics
A normal menstrual cycle? Not all women are consistent
My personal favorite “NFP leads to better sex!” Yes, could it be because
of the length of abstinence? Libido?
AMA: The failure rate is 24%, if that is really true. Could it be caused by its
complexity? It takes training. What if you are off by one day? Woops!
I ask what did a Catholic couple do in earlier centuries? They knew NOTHING of NFP.
Catholic moral theology has made crystal clear that periodic abstinence is different in degree and kind than “birth control”
Mr Morgan, NFP is used both for achieving and spacing conceptions. It’s not a form of contraception.
And no, the “failure rate ” is not that high if you are referring to spacing births and assuming NFP has been taught and practiced correctly. Sadly, the AMA has not been not well versed in NFP in the past. And that applies to many physicians also. Fertility has been seen more as a disease to be treated than a sign of womens health.
What did Catholic couples do in the past? Depends on what you mean by “past.” In the Byzantine Empire, upper class couples often stopped conjugal relations after producing the requisite “heir and a spare.” In the European Middle Ages, marital relations were forbidden by religious taboos on more than 200 days of the year, reducing opportunities for conception. In Ancien Regime France, noble families permitted only about one third of their children to marry, while commoners usually married late. In 19th–early 20th C Ireland, high rates of celibacy and late marriage kept the birth rate low. There’s statistical evidence for all of the above.
But these cultural practices weren’t the only ways to limit families. People contracepted, too, and some of the methods did work, although various “herbal potions” were actually early abortifacients. Contraception was a notable pastoral problem in late medieval Italy, where St. Bernard of Siena denounced it form the pulpit, saying: “Nintey-nine per cent of marriages are of the Devil.” The French were contracepting so effectively before the Revolution that it affected demography. Contraception is emphatically not a new modern issue!
I have heard, from some NFP advertisement, the argument that every woman ought to be taught it, around puberty. But not for child planning purposes. About 20% of women have endometriosis, and about 20% have polycystic ovarian syndrome, and that is only 2 of the disorders that can be diagnosed through NFP without invasive procedures, and treated early to avoid needless suffering, needless contraceptive use with all its side effects, and avoid worsening of the problem.
It can be a great thing for single women, even temporarily, or for a woman to practice without her spouse’s input. One of those times when a woman’s fertility actually is about her. Sometimes I think that this particular use is God’s reward to everyone who was looking for a faithful Catholic alternative to contraception.
Absolutely Amanda. NFP is something important for women who want to be able to take responsibility for their own health.
Exactly, Amanda. It seems as though the “back to nature” or “organic” crowd would be better served with this knowledge than with the default embrace of synthetic hormones; and interestingly, NFP practitioners/teachers find that in some areas of the world (like parts of Africa) the women already have a good sense of these things. Such knowledge is in keeping with our rational nature, heightens women’s awareness about the beauty of their bodies, and enhances their agency.
Something to point out: Engaged Catholc couples need to be reminded and insrructed that they should be ready, able, and willing to expect children immediately following their marriage. No “waiting to get settled,” no “a little time to adjust,” no “waiting for better housing, pay, etc. Couples should already BE settled, make enough money, have proper housing. If not, postpone the wedding.
You’re going to be forcing a lot of people to wait to tie the knot until their mid-30s the way this economy is going.
That’s already been the trend David. With or without a poor economy couples are waiting longer & longer to wed. If they even decide to marry at all. And that’s where much of the infertility trouble lies & our falling birthrates. Men can father children right on into old age but a woman’s fertility is much more finite.
NFP taught as “Fertility Awareness” might better instruct young women about that reality before it’s too late.
Perhaps Natural Family Planning should be renamed “Fertility Awareness”.
Great idea, Valerie!
Amen, Valerie.
The Creighton Model FertilityCare™ System (CrMS) is more than NFP. It “provides women the added benefit of being able to monitor and maintain their procreative and gynecologic health over a lifetime.” For more, see:
https://creightonmodel.com/
https://naprotechnology.com/
I agree with Valerie and Genevieve. But I wish to take issue with the author where he says the problem is neither with N nor F, but P. Well, if we believe marriage for Christians is not simply natural but supernatural (not against, but beyond the natural), and we do, then why limit the term to N. Supernatural Fertility Awareness might sound jolting, but don’t we want our couples inviting Christ into their marriages, especially as they seek wisdom in discerning their fertility. What appears to be lacking other than the supernatural in this conversation is the helpful aid fertility awareness (studying the wife’s menstrual cycle) can be for couples SEEKING to conceive. NFP is only moral for grave reasons when used to AVOID conception, but it is ALWAYS moral when couples wish to know their God-created bodies to be God-like co-creators in expanding the kingdom. Wish this author had included the very positive use of NFP, and agree that rethinking the terminology has potential to revive our Church.
Feasts of St. Mary Magdalene ( 7/22 ) next day -St.Bridget of Sweden wife – mother religious )7/24 St.Charbel – hermit priest -odor of holiness , St.James – who witnessed the transfiguration , 7/26 – Sts Ann and Joachim – patrons of marital chastity,all of the above witnesses of joy in taking in the holiness of God as far above that of carnal pleasures – The Immaculate Conception as a holy embrace of light and love without carnality, far greater joy as narrated in visions of Bl.Emmerich and would have been the manner for all marriages if not for The Fall !
Lord warns how any one who gives more importance to own family members than to The Lord is unworthy of Him ..abstinence on regular basis taken with the intention to make families and generations to become ‘more worthy ‘ in The Lord , to help all to be open to recieve His holiness as His mercy and love, as His preciosu Blood flowing in to tranform wounds and memories ,to trust how same makes oneself holy and worthy loved and restored to dignity whereas without that sense of holiness , it might be difficult to trust in the love of The Lord , love oneself or others ..
May be the NFP term can be replaced with the phrase as ‘mission holiness days ‘ to help see each other as wrapped in the mantle of love and holiness of The Mother with her oceans of love and holiness flowing in into the little rivulets that are our lives to expand same ..
Putting ‘ ban ‘ on things not well understood – to inspire persons more to find and study where the real error is , as in the recent situation , well explained in the gentle warm wisdom of a religious – of Divine Will , a devotion that can also help families in all areas of life -including in cherishing holiness and its fruits to counter slavery to carnal passions .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVgtNp13fSs
Blessings !
No joke… Kevin Tierney is one of my favorite writers, whether it’s religion, politics, or star wars his stuff is always worth reading
On a much lighter note I am reminded of the meme: “Mama, did you want a boy or a girl?” “Honey, all I wanted was a back rub!”
MrsC, Amanda, & Genevieve, I applaud your posts & info!
Truly Creighton Model/NaproTechnology NFP charting helps women’s awareness of their health & highlights fertility and couples’ options v. sinful, toxic, expensive birth control.
NFP enabled my diagnosis of low progesterone, with easy progesterone supplement solution. Then I felt better and developed more infertile days and was less tired. Prior to the progesterone use, we had 3 sad baby losses. After my doc provided it for me, our last darling daughter was perfectly healthy and healed all our hearts!
Thank you for sharing your story, Mr Tierney. I feel you and your wife would appreciate more support/inspiration. I’m hoping to share successful family experiences to encourage you, with special needs children-(I’ve noticed as asst to many students and parishioners as teacher and mom)-must exert noticeable, extra effort in every facet of family life. The 5 families I’ve known with 1 or 2 children with special needs solicited support from relatives, friends, and local govt. services to ease their burdens.
The 3 happiest families were devout Catholics. The most happy family has a child with Down’s Syndrome; they had their 5th healthy child after the daughter with DS. Her siblings were as incredibly patient with her occasional unruly behavior in church- as her grace-filled parents were at Trad. Latin Mass (w/English). (And we don’t mind if children act like children; & certainly would never ever consider your motives for NFP, nor judge you!)
If you want extra GRACE I’m sure you’ll find it at Latin (w/English) Mass. (And parents don’t teach catechism/RCIA- the learned priests do, in a group setting: for less than a school year for Penance/First Eucharist; then another round for Confirmation; and a brief time for marriage prep! Edifying theology and much more enhanced than Vatican II ever presented. Exciting to learn!)
Catholic social Men’s Groups (Knights of Columbus; Men of the Holy Name, etc); and Women’s Groups (Traditional L. M. Ladies’ Sodality, etc.) exist for adults. The Legion of Mary is open for both sexes, praying the Holy Rosary for indulgenced intercessory prayers and encourage prayerful service.
In my last decade as a single mom, my children and I received myriad gestures of love and support from our devout Catholic friends. (I know I couldn’t have survived without their Faith, and tangible support.) I’ll pray for all parents with exceptional children in my Rosaries this week.
I’m just seeing your comments today Melodie. Praise God for the safe birth of your baby after those sad losses.
One of my daughters was blessed by finding a doctor who uses Napro Technology. I wish it was something more widely known.
May God continue to bless you and your family.
Thank you so much for sharing your comments. I homeschooled 8 children and we had so many
wonderful Catholic friends, homeschool groups, Legion of Mary, etc. for support and fellowship. It brings back happy memories.
🙂
For several reasons I am a big proponent of NFP. I don’t care what you call it, and yes, the marketing should be realistic and not hyped up. However, there are absolutely reasons that I believe it’s especially necessary today.
I am in my mid 50’s and have 8 beautiful children, all with the help of NFP. I did have severe infertility struggles, but my body awareness due to NFP ultimately assisted in helping me conceive.
I firmly believe that in today’s culture, it is more imperative than ever before marriage to learn NFP. Why? It all comes down to breast feeding. Women don’t breast feed in the same way that they used to, or even breast feed at all. That’s okay, and their decision, but the consequences of it are a much earlier return to fertility than if they breast fed exclusively and did not use pacifiers… That day is not returning, so women are often having babies very with very little time to recover either mentally or physically. I have seen families who were completely against NFP, make the decision to learn it, in order to save their sanity. Children are a blessing, but they take ALL of your time and energy to nourish and raise to adulthood. I have seen quite a few women with severe health issues, or on heavy medication who needed to take a break from childbearing. A few women’s health required them to permanently abstain. NFP takes time to learn, and it would be much better to learn before marriage.
Honestly, everyone I have known, who has practiced NFP, has been generous to life. I don’t know the “selfish” NFP families.
It’s a beautiful gift to a young woman to understand her hormone cycle and be able to use it to better understand her monthly biological and psychological changes and the reasons behind them.