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Charity, good manners, and driving the Interstates

The recovery of good manners, understood as an expression of charity, is essential to the renewal of our deteriorating culture.

(Image: wal_172619 / Pixabay)

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says some interesting things about charity, the supreme theological virtue that, as St. Paul wrote in Colossians 3:14, “binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

CCC 1828: “The practice of the moral life animated by charity gives to the Christian the spiritual freedom of the children of God. He no longer stands before God as a slave, in servile fear, or as a mercenary looking for wages, but as a son responding to the love of him who ‘first loved us’ (1 John 4:19).”

CCC 1829: “The fruits of charity are joy, peace, and mercy; charity demands beneficence and fraternal correction…it fosters reciprocity…it is friendship and communion….”

Charity is also the virtue informing good manners. And the sorry condition of good manners among us these days is perhaps a point in favor of those who argue (inaccurately, in my view) that America has become a post-Christian country. But even if we’re not yet a post-Christian country – one in which appeals to Christian truths and moral norms have zero public traction (cf. France) – we are rapidly becoming a post-Christian culture, as demonstrated by the fact that both American high culture and American pop culture indulge and often promote bad manners. And since politics is downstream from culture, that, in turn, suggests that we may well be careening down the road to the desert wastelands of post-Christianity.

Good manners embody respect for others. Good manners ease the inevitable frictions of social life, which is why good manners were part of a comprehensive code of humane, civilized, adult behavior. Public officials were once expected to display good manners, even in debate; John F. Kennedy and Richard M. Nixon were not terribly fond of each other by 1960, but their four presidential debates were characterized by good manners, not puerile hollering. The two Bush presidents were true gentlemen, and not only in dealing with peers in the corridors of power; both were esteemed by the White House staff because of their good manners (in contrast to the couple that came between them at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue N.W.).

Good manners extend to driving.

During a busy May week of book promotion events in Poland, I was driven some 1,200 km over excellent superhighways (whose existence proves that the European Union, which funded them, is good for something other than bureaucratic nannying and promoting lifestyle libertinism). And it was striking that good driving manners generally prevail on Polish highways, in sharp contrast to what I experience from sea to shining sea.

Summer vacation season is upon us, which means that tens, perhaps hundreds of millions of Americans will be taking to the highways en route to vacations. Herewith, then, and with the Catechism’s teaching that “fraternal correction” is a fruit of charity in mind, are some proposals for good-mannered driving on the Interstates.

Rubbernecking is an offense against good driving manners. Innumerable traffic jams are caused by inconsiderate drivers slowing down to a crawl to ogle a crash scene. Stop it. If your life is so dull that a broken-down car or a collision’s aftermath provides a frisson of interest or excitement, something is awry. Find other stimulants (legal, of course). And when you pass an accident at a reasonable speed, not a crawl, say three Hail Marys for those involved.

Loitering in the left lane is an offense against good driving manners. The Commonwealth of Virginia now deploys electronic signage reading “The left lane is for passing not cruising.” This admonition has had as much discernible effect as King Canute ordering the incoming tide to cease and desist. Car after car squats in the passing lane, blithely (or ignorantly) creating delays for those who learned the elementary rules of the road in Driver’s Ed. Paying attention to what’s behind you on the Interstates is a sign of respect for others – which is a matter of good manners, which are an expression of charity. So be not a squatter.

Fiddling with a cell phone while driving is not only bad manners, it’s dangerous. Show some respect for yourself and others by paying close attention to what you’re doing, not to text messages, tweets, or other (typically frivolous) distractions. Good driving is an art, like playing a musical instrument, and no musician can play a clarinet and a double bass at the same time.

The recovery of good manners, understood as an expression of charity, is essential to the renewal of our deteriorating culture. Good driving manners are a modest place to begin that renewal, especially for people of faith.


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About George Weigel 506 Articles
George Weigel is Distinguished Senior Fellow of Washington's Ethics and Public Policy Center, where he holds the William E. Simon Chair in Catholic Studies. He is the author of over twenty books, including Witness to Hope: The Biography of Pope John Paul II (1999), The End and the Beginning: Pope John Paul II—The Victory of Freedom, the Last Years, the Legacy (2010), and The Irony of Modern Catholic History: How the Church Rediscovered Itself and Challenged the Modern World to Reform. His most recent books are The Next Pope: The Office of Peter and a Church in Mission (2020), Not Forgotten: Elegies for, and Reminiscences of, a Diverse Cast of Characters, Most of Them Admirable (Ignatius, 2021), and To Sanctify the World: The Vital Legacy of Vatican II (Basic Books, 2022).

30 Comments

  1. Worth noting that Mr. Weigel does not appear to consider it bad manners for a self important driver to come up behind a car that is in the left lane, overtaking another vehicle at 10 MPH above the speed limit, and flash his/her brights because the driver in front is not overtaking fast enough to suit the self important.

    • That depends. Is the driver in the left lane traveling too slow and obstructing traffic? That’s also a form of self-absorption.

    • > Worth noting that Mr. Weigel does not appear to consider it bad manners for
      > a self important driver to come up behind a car that is in the left lane,
      > overtaking another vehicle at 10 MPH above the speed limit, and flash
      > his/her brights because the driver in front is not overtaking fast
      > enough to suit the self important.

      Ted, the observation of speed limits varies around the country. But in many if not most areas, 10 mph over the speed limit is considered acceptable in normal driving conditions.

      If a driver is driving the speed limit in the “fast lane”, and it isn’t very heavy traffic that prevents being in the middle or right lane, that’s rude. It’s fine if you want to drive the speed limit, but do it in the right lane so as not to inconvenience people who wish to drive faster.

      Staying parked in the left lane when you’re not using it to pass others, and when you’re holding up people behind you, is not only rude but creates dangerous situations that can cause accidents. Instead of the people behind you being able to proceed in the left lane calmly, someone deliberately parked in the left lane blocking them forces them to change lanes, pass on the right, move back left, sometimes with narrow margins for error. Collisions happen because people park in the left lane and others go around them.

      Worry about yourself, don’t worry about what others are doing. If it’s truly dangerous, call it in to the police. But trying to enforce your own driving standards on others is never a good idea, and not good manners.

      • Hear hear!

        The interstate used to be called the freeway, as in, free of speed limitations. Interstate drivers still tend to pay more attention to conditions (including other drivers) then to signage. I remember driving up the eastern seaboard once, interstates the entire way, and the further north I got, the lower the speed limits got – while the actual speed of the drivers didn’t change a bit. It was a bit astonishing when they were getting to 20-30 mph over and the cops were doing the same, and everyone’s speed was exactly what I’d been driving further south, in equivalent road and weather conditions.

        In California, around one of the major cities, there is (or was) an “uncivil obedience” day, in which a bunch of drivers protest the unreasonably low speed limits by driving exactly at them, in all 6-8 lanes. At least one year, they were closing down businesses because no one could get to work as the interstate turned into a parking lot.

        You can start a traffic jam just by having cars travel too slow, as it increases the number of cars, packs them more densely (which also increases the probability of accidents), and slows them further.

  2. Perhaps an astute scholar can answer the question “What is the speed limit in the passing lane?” How charitable is it to exceed the posted speed limit given that most accidents are cause by speeding in excess of conditions?

    • Very few accidents are caused by speeding. Every accident gets worse as the speeds get higher, the posted speed limit on the interstate is already well into fatal territory.

      Accidents are caused by not paying attention, and not leaving enough room to give yourself and others time to react. I’m somewhat disappointed that tailgating and passing people with 2 inches to spare wasn’t included.

  3. My advice to George Weigel and all others: Stay off the busy Interstates (especially when travelling near or around The Swamp); take your time getting to your destination by using less-travelled country roads where you can enjoy the scenery; move as far away from the Big Cities (like The Swamp, NY, Boston, Chicago, LA, SF, Atlanta, etc) as you can. There, you’ll find normal people.

    When we travel from Northwestern VA to Northern NJ to visit family, the quickest (and most expensive) way is through The Swamp, around Baltimore, and on that interminable NJ Turnpike. We take the slow way up Rt 15 bypassing Emmittsburg, Gettysburg, North up Rt 81 and across Rt 80 to our destination. It takes an hour more of driving but we arrive in one piece and with our mind and souls intact. I refuse any longer to drive into NYC which is the pits. If you take the slower and more picturesque way, you’ll not only live longer but you might save your soul as well. To survive, you have to learn ways to manage how enmeshed you are with the local pagan culture.

    We apply the same principle when we travel in Europe: we avoid: Autostradas, Autoroutes, Autobahns, etc. We leisurely take the off-highways. And, never, ever get in the passing lane on any of these European roads – it would be suicide-by-rearend collision.

    • I used to carry my 8 children & occasional livestock in a very decrepit 15 passenger van that in a former life had been a church bus. The name of the Baptist church had been partially obscured by one of my children with paint. One of our cows had kicked a headlight cover & it was repaired with tape.
      I dread driving on the Capital Beltway but I noticed I could switch lanes at ease with that old church bus. Every BMW & Volvo made room for me. I guess they figured I was some uninsured religious fanatic who had nothing to lose so they moved aside.
      🙂

      • Somehow, I’m delighted by the fact that drivers who have no problem applying makeup, changing their shirts, or reading a book while going full speed on the Beltway, will clear a path for the uninsured religious fanatic. 🙂

      • You’ve narrated why everyone loves a good Southern writer! You’re one of Flannery O’Connor’s type. God bless!

        I hope you won’t mind my asking, from my West and East Coast urban perspective: Are chicken considered livestock? (Did you laugh a lot at my ignorance?)

        😃😃😃

        • Thank you.
          🙂
          Chickens are poultry. Livestock is generally four legged critters like sheep, goats, hogs, and cattle. Donkeys, mules, and horses
          get grouped together. When you go to the State Fair that’s how the buildings are divided up.
          I carried sheep and calves in the very back of the church bus. There was enough room one time for 7 baby calves we picked up at a dairy. (And 8 children.)

          Yes, Senator Kennedy is a hoot. I always enjoy listening to him. If you Google Clay Higgins, a Louisiana congressman, there are some very funny Crime stopper videos he made when he served in law enforcement. He might come up on a search under “Cajun John Wayne”

          You have a blessed night. 🙏

          • Your stories about the old bus and all the kids reminds of the “little old lady that lived in a shoe” – without looking it up I can’t remember what that nursery rhyme was about though.

            I grew up spoiled by our mother preparing a chicken that she had “harvested” Sunday morning and then it was ready to pop in the oven after 10 30 mass – we ate about 2 pm and that was the last meal of the week. so can relate to your ag stories and raising deacon calves. She also sold dozens of eggs in town each week and that was a good part of the grocery money. Large gardens were common then. Home economics should be mandatory in all schools.

      • I just heard Sen. Kennedy (of Louisiana) talk of the SS Ssenate hearing as a goat rodeo! That’s living close to the land….

  4. Amen. AndI might add tailgating. Often, on interstates, I will be in the right lane, doing the speed limit, and someone starts riding my bumper, with two open lanes to the left. Usually, they finally taketge hint, change lanes and pass. Very often, it’s a pickup truck. Why do pickup trucks tailgate so much? Is there a reason for this?

    • I have no idea. I drive a pickup & never tailgate.
      But be careful. Earlier this year we had someone local shot traveling the interstate to their father’s funeral. Apparently they weren’t traveling fast enough. A man who’d been behind them pulled up alongside & shot both the slow driver & his dog.
      You just never know.

      • Most pickup drivers are law abiding, but a few have a chip on their shoulder. Anger management issues and guns. Not a good combination. Did they catch the gunman?

        • Yes, they did Will. Cameras along the interstate were able to get an image of the vehicle and he was caught.
          Both the driver and the dog survived but the driver almost lost his life from his injuries.

    • I slow down for tailgaters. One reason being that because they are riding my bumper, I’ll have to brake more slowly in order to avoid hitting whatever hypothetical problem just happened in front of me AND getting hit by the reckless person behind me. The other being that it typically encourages them to go around much sooner. But I also try very hard to move over for people.

      And I haven’t noticed it being primarily pickups. Seems like a pretty normal distribution, except that motorcyclists are more likely to drive on the centerline than to tailgate anyone.

    • Mr. Weigel’s syndicated column is not a news/journalistic piece, but an opinion piece that often comments on news items. And it is usually written 2-3 weeks before publication.

      • So yeah, slow opinion piece day. We don’t blame ya’…after all, we are in the midst of the summer dog days. With wars erupting, assassination attempting, political lies-aplenty-in-the making, and global blaspheming, we all need a break.

        Thanks for all your work.

        • And yet much about the human condition is reflected in driving habits. Insufficiently touched upon by Weigel are sins of pride in driving. Given my lifelong obsession with physics and technology, I found an outlet in my young adulthood to partake of amateur SCCA road racing, after proper and expensive race driving schools. Although far removed from being an F! driver, I do know at least how fast driving can be performed with reasonable safety. Very rarely do I observe anyone driving a sporty car aggressively who demonstrates any appropriate level of skill, believing they show their skill by harassing others by tailgaiting. This infuriates me. I suppose my own sins of pride might be involved in my disgust.

          Of course we also observe the pride of the slow driver in the passing lane demonstrating their contrivance, typical of our times. “I have a right to be here as much as anyone else.”

  5. Feast Day blessings of St.Ignatius to all ! Discerning of spirits of what we are facing – to invoke His Precious Blood unto all , essential in all aspects of our lives…Reading about the candidate who is promoting violence against the unborn, came across the quote from Mo.Teresa – ‘ any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love but to use any violence to get what it wants ‘ .
    Spirit Daily site has a related interesting article – on demonic presence in ‘strange places’/ persons , how childhood experiences can manifest same later – ? significant in that the nation is living with children born unto families with such histories as ‘generationa spirits …
    https://spiritdaily.org/blog/forums/forums-where-demons-hide
    Europe ,thank God has stronger Christian roots from the past – ? still protecting same at many levels…
    May the prayers of the Jesuit martyr Sts and all help to bring forth the holiness and its fruits unto this land and others, for ongoing deliverance from powers of evil through child sacrifices , wars and such that were amidst the natives here … Interesting readings of Holy Mass today – ? Prophet Jeremia falling under despair , blaming the mother… ? being allowed same to contrast with role of Bl.Mother – standing at the foot of The Cross uniting her will to the Divine Will accepting evertything for sanctification of her children ..so that we too can bring the wounds and failures of all times and persons unto her again and again , to be set free to love ourselves and others with His Love – the blessing the Holy Father invokes unto our lives … the grace and mercy of same – may it be acccepted into depth of hearts with the help of The Mother , to be guided and protected ! FIAT !

  6. One thing that we need to make plain is traffic flow. The differences in speed between vehicles can contribute to accidents by disrupting the orderly flow of traffic on the road. Traffic flow can resemble fluid dynamics. Ideally roads are designed to move traffic. Orderly traffic flow can contribute to this objective.

  7. The most inconsiderate and dangerous drivers on the highways are the “weavers” who weave from lane to lane at high speeds trying to find the gap that will take them to the promised land. If no gaps can be found, they tailgate the driver in the far left lane who is already driving over the speed limit until he or she gives way. Sometimes justice is served. Recently my wife saw a guy weave over to the breakdown lane, actually kicking up dust from the shoulder as he past a series of cars. When he wove back into the normal lanes, he pulled in front of a police car. After a few seconds, the blue lights came on and he was pulled over.

  8. Didn’t read the article but thought I’d have a peek at the comments.
    Made the right choice, I see.
    Mrs. Cracker, thanks for the laughs (and insights) and may your pen never run dry!

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